What is happiness?
For many of us, being happy is often hard work. Happiness must be sought, chased and when it is reached it holds tight with the fear of losing it soon.
It seems like something that everyone knows, but few can explain it in words, “you have to live it”, they say …
Even looking for the meaning in the dictionary, one finds an unconvincing explanation of happiness such as “state and feeling of who is happy”, “Opportunity, convenience, and in general the quality of what has succeeded in an excellent way”.
One would then wonder what this state is like, what feelings other people feel and in what situations!
The concept of happiness is something abstract, not well defined, philosophers and writers have also tried, but none of them has come up with an answer that is suitable for everyone.
But the real question then is …
Are we all happy in the same way?
Of course not, each of us experiences very different daily situations, from importance to different values, objectives, results, affects. So also the feeling of happiness that we experience every day will be different for each of us, both physically and mentally.
As the title of three Italian comedians says “Ask me if I’m happy!”, Only in this way can we know if the person in front of us feels happy.
But then, how can I know if I’m happy?
We know we are happy only if we can choose to be happy. Happiness does not happen by chance, but it is we ourselves who decide every day whether to cultivate happiness or unhappiness.
We cultivate unhappiness when we constantly look back, continuously using the “if …” and the “but …”; we cultivate unhappiness when we think about how little we have, we value, we earn compared to others and we stand still, crying over ourselves; we cultivate unhappiness when we blame someone on a daily basis for what makes us feel bad, boss, boyfriend, ex, professor; we are unhappy when we are still, motionless in our life journey.
Unhappiness is then a choice: no one chains you and keeps you still in the same place, hoisting the sail and leaving for the trip is your job.
Similarly, happiness is a choice to be cultivated.
We cultivate happiness when we have positive relationships with other people, whether they are strangers or the boss, boyfriend, ex, etc .; we cultivate happiness when we successfully complete a job; we cultivate happiness when we reach a goal that we thought was so far away; we cultivate happiness when we have new experiences; we cultivate happiness when we believe in ourselves and unfurl the sails to leave the harbor.
I want to find the solution, how can I be happy?
As we said, happiness is not an easy choice to cultivate, to start doing it I must first know that you will not feel happy in each of the days you will live, many times you will risk falling back into the spiral of unhappiness, but the important thing is to seek a alternative way to live your present.
Here are some simple, but great steps to start changing your thoughts and your life.
- First, confess to yourself that you are not happy.
- Slows. To date, each of us is the product of the era of multitasking, we are used to doing 47 things at the same time, to always be busy and committed to something … our mind continues to work thinking and ruminating on thoughts that concern the past, present and future. We have a sort of activated autopilot that leads us to continue day after day to do a myriad of things, without ever stopping. So what to do? … SLOW DOWN. Turn off autopilot, do one thing at a time, listen to your body and the sensations that activity allows you to experience … pay attention to the looks, the meetings, the handshakes, a walk, the sky …
- Fill your heart. It doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with anyone, but try to use a gentle tone when you turn to others, and not least when you turn to yourself. Try to see the beauty in the sensations you feel, in the things that happen to you or in those you choose to do. Experience the present moment to the fullest, be aware of the things you choose to do or choose to think about. Fill your heart with well-being.