There is an intense cold, oppressive and monolithic, which manages to paralyze entire existences. A poison that corrodes inner vitality every day and condemns those who carry it within themselves to perpetual anxiety.
It is the chill of those who do not feel loved, the enormous cavity of the soul of those who has not been emotionally fed during childhood. A wound that fear often leads to neglect and that time – and neglect – turn into condemnation.
Those who have been deprived of the loving warmth of their parents – not because they have had evil intentions, but often because they are malnourished in turn – feel this plague in themselves, whether they are alone, whether they live in a relationship or a marriage.
But above all, the unloved expects an external miracle, a particular person, a hero, to heal his illness, returning it to the possibility of a happy life. In the meantime, the days are lost in a series of ineffective experiences, which never succeed in satisfying being completely, even when it comes to events of great positivity.
Once the beautiful moment is over, the time in which one is able to rejoice and be calm, the mood of restlessness returns to reclaim his place. Lack of love makes one lose the flavor of what is happening and, although perhaps another being insists on declaring his emotional transport to us, one cannot perceive the warmth that true love produces in every man.
Since the body is the seat of emotions, the place where they occur and manifest themselves, is from the body that takes distance, humiliating it with practices that undermine its health and well-being. We end up living in continuous anesthesia, fed by all kinds of addictions: substances, people, but also recognition or success and everything that allows the sharp and sterile intellect to rationally dominate any aspect of existence.
The repeated expectation leads to frustration and the breakup of a couple of situations, which have become unbearable because the other fails to satisfy the immense need of the unloved.
The problem is that no external agent can ever fill the emotional hole left by certain irreproachable but cold behaviors, lacking understanding and sweetness, which are carried out towards the little ones. Those signs rub our hearts, leaving us forever in search of something that will not come because that neglected child has become an adult and his need cannot be satisfied by others. No one can be a substitute for parents and no one can go back in time to repair the damage just done.
There is only one way out of the spiral of frost. Learn to love yourself, to give yourself the essential and loving care that life has taken away from us. Evaluate yourself for what you are, without requiring perfection and without making unnecessary comparisons.
Accept your body, with its shortcomings and its surpluses, coming into contact with the various parts that form us. Ignite the fire of passion and give yourself to life, because this is the only way to feel that fire in others. Treat yourself well, with respect, trying to value yourself for the uniqueness that each of us expresses. Firmly believe that they are indispensable to the world, as all beings are. Taking time to feel the current of life that flows within us, the breath that sustains us and encourages us to joy.
When fed from within, we will meet someone who can tell us “I love you”, we will have ears to listen to him and a special place to welcome him. Next to us, our smile and the inner child, now satisfied.