Health & Fitness Lifestyle

THE 7 TYPICAL HABITS OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE

“It doesn’t take much to make a life happy; it’s all inside you, in your way of thinking. “ – Marcus Aurelius

External circumstances can certainly make our life complicated. But an extremely important – often decisive – role in the constant attempt to be happy is played by our thinking, our behavior and our habits.

If we often do not have the power to influence external circumstances because outside our sphere of influence, our attitude and our habits are instead elements over which we have the possibility to exercise total control.

Here are some examples of some of the most destructive daily habits unhappy people create for themselves and which contribute to decisively undermine their happiness.

They fear the judgment of others.

Many people have a constant preoccupation with the opinions and judgments of others to the point that, in order not to flank criticism or negative comments, they actually choose not to expose themselves, remain behind the scenes and end up living an extremely limited.

But why preclude you from interesting experiences and stimulating news just because someone else might comment on you?

How to overcome this habit:

  • Be aware that others care about what you say and what you do much less than you think. Relax, because there is no spotlight on you.
  • Change your perspective: instead of constantly thinking about yourself and how others perceive you, focus your attention on others and their needs. Listen to them, help them. This will help you boost your self-esteem and limit your self-centered outlook.

They make life too complicated.

Life is often too complicated in itself. But just as often we ourselves make it even more complicated than it actually is, and this attitude of ours contributes decisively to raising our levels of stress and dissatisfaction.

It’s true that the world is getting more and more complex, but that doesn’t mean you can’t start creating new habits today that make your life a little easier.

How to overcome this habit:

  • Instead of dedicating yourself to a thousand and more activities between frenzy and confusion at the same time, try to establish 2-3 priorities on which to focus your attention every day and take care of them only.
  • You have too many things that contribute to chaos and confusion. Begin to get in the habit of asking yourself regularly: “Have I used this thing in the last year?”. If the answer is no, throw it away or give it away without thinking too much!
  • Communicate: do not expect others to be able to read your mind and always anticipate your expectations. Express what you feel, ask questions when you don’t understand, and don’t take anything for granted or implied. This will help you minimize unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings.
  • Disconnect: do not be obsessed by the need to be constantly connected to the internet, send yet another text message or answer the phone while you are talking to a person.
  • When you feel overwhelmed by circumstances, in stress and confusion, simply stop. Sit comfortably and focus on your breathing for a few minutes without doing anything and thinking about nothing.

They associate happiness with perfection.

Does your life need to be perfect for you to feel happy? If you believe that perfection is the prerequisite for happiness, then in all probability you are destined to be disappointed by the truth of the facts. You cannot find happiness in perfection, but rather in the ability to know how to manage the world of imperfections and defects that distinguishes you and the world around you.

How to overcome this habit:

  • “Good” is fine: aiming for perfection usually means struggling with an idea or initiative and never completing it. What is good is often what you need, without the need for perfection. This does not mean acting lazily or not paying attention to details, but recognizing the value of what is already well done even if it is not yet perfect.
  • Every time you dedicate yourself to a project or initiative, set yourself a deadline by which to complete it. When the deadline is reached, consider the work as completed: this will help you get rid of the idea that the project still requires some perhaps unnecessary finishing.
  • Be aware of the fact that the myth of perfection costs you a lot in terms of physical and mental energy. Do your best to get things right and then relax, not obsess over it. You will gain from it in serenity and in quality of life and relationships.

They live in a sea of negative voices.

Nobody is an island. Those with whom we socialize, what we read, watch and listen to has a significant effect on our thinking and mood.

It becomes much more difficult to be happy if you let yourself be carried away by the negative voices of those around us. Many voices who know how to look at existence only from a negative perspective constantly tell us that life is full of difficulties, dangers, limits and fears.

How to overcome this habit:

The most powerful tool you have is to replace negative and pessimistic voices with positive thoughts and influences – this simple approach can open up a new world for you.

So try spending more time with positive and sunny people, listen to music and read books that inspire you, make you smile and think about life in a new way.

They get stuck in the past and worry about the future.

Spending a lot of your time with your mind in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts and opportunities can really hurt.

Spending a lot of your time with your mind in the future worrying about the worst-case scenarios that could happen to you in health, in love and at work, can hurt even more.

Don’t stop to fully grasp and savor the here and now it can make you give up a myriad of wonderful experiences.

How to overcome this habit:

It is practically impossible not to think about the past or the future. And it is obviously important to know how to plan for the future and try to learn from the past.

But dwelling too long on tomorrow or yesterday is seldom too much help, so try, whenever you can, to simply live in the present moment. Focus on what you are doing, whatever you are doing, even the most mundane.If you are sweeping the floor, dedicate yourself exclusively to it, without thinking about anything else. If you are talking to someone, give them your full attention, without distractions. And so on…

They compare their own life with that of others.

A very widespread and at the same time I fear extremely destructive daily habit is to continually compare one’s life with that of other people. They compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity, and so on. And doing so ends up destroying one’s self-esteem and generating a significant amount of negative feelings.

How to overcome this habit:

Try replacing this destructive habit with two other different habits.

  • Confront yourself. For once, leave others alone and focus only on yourself. Evaluate how much you have grown, what you have achieved, what progress you have made towards achieving your goals. This habit has the advantage of generating gratitude, appreciation, and kindness towards yourself because it offers you the opportunity to observe where you came from, the obstacles you managed to overcome, and all the good that you were able to accomplish.
  • Be gentle. The way you think and behave towards others plays a considerable role in how you think and behave towards yourself. The more you judge and criticize others, the more you will tend to judge and criticize yourself. The more kind and helpful you are with others, the more you will be with yourself. Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. Appreciate what is positive in yourself and in others.

They focus on the negative aspects of their life.

Focusing constantly and almost exclusively on the negative aspects of any situation is the best way to lead you to unhappiness. And to bring down the good mood of those around you.

Not a very attractive scenario, is it?

How to overcome this habit:

  • Overcoming this habit can be anything but easy. A very often effective approach is to break free from the habit of perfectionism: accept that things and situations have their positive and negative aspects rather than thinking that all the details must necessarily be in place flawlessly. This way you can more easily let the negative slip away both emotionally and mentally, instead of dwelling on it and amplifying its scope.
  • Another winning solution is simply to focus your efforts and your energy on being constructive, rather than letting yourself be overcome by the habit of complaining about every negative detail. You can do this by asking yourself proactive questions, such as: “How can I turn this negative thing into something useful or positive?” or “How can I solve this problem?”

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1 Comment

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    Colby
    September 1, 2020 at 7:45 am

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