For reasons of educational and cultural gaps, we never listen to each other enough.
It would be a simple and natural act, but, if we are lucky, it takes decades to learn how to do it.
We grow up being told that we cannot always do what we like, that we must not think of ourselves, that someone needs us and that, in practice, we are surely indebted to someone. If only for the fact that they were brought into the world.
The culture of “original sin” flows through various social and cultural veins, up to the arteries of the staff, of each of us. Even nations are all (without exception) “in debt”. In this world it seems that nobody is entitled to “collect”, to live on credit. To enjoy life, silence, slowness. presence, calm, by birthright.
Because the paradigm could very well be reversed: each of us brings to the world so much diversity, wealth and beauty that it should be possible to claim rights of abundance (emotional, relational, material), self-respect and unconditional self-listening.
The right to be one’s first priority, without oneself and without but. To reconnect to self-listening. Penalty the malfunction of everything else, including our ability to be there for others.
WHAT DOES IT LISTEN TO LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND WHAT DOES IT DETERMINE?
Listening to yourself means:
- Get a sacred space every day in which to leave out all the interference, distractions, mental or physical presences of others and go to meet yourself, tête-à-tête.
- Become “meteorologists” of ourselves.
- Learn first to identify and then to give credit to every single variation of our state and our mood. It is never accidental: in one day there are a thousand micro-perturbations caused by micro-stimuli that we have not been able to unmask.
- Recognizing them and adapting to our inner feeling can preserve us from infinite unpleasant experiences and wasted time.
- I remember that in the film “This must be the place” the protagonist often said: “Something disturbed me.” He could not pinpoint what it was, but it was brilliant to stop the events and the conversation to share with those who had before him that something had undermined his serenity. Something microscopic, but existing and worthy of attention. This example has always remained in my mind from which to take inspiration and so we should all do it, it would be our right and it would also help those who are with us to become more sensitive.
- Never betray your feeling. As senseless, insane, illogical, unexpected, sudden.
- If we are unable or unable to adapt to it literally immediately, at least let’s recognize it and, in hindsight, let’s see what he meant to tell us about that given experience or situation. The next time, we will certainly trust more: that antenna is highly sophisticated and not wrong. It’s all about finding it and then giving it care and attention.
- Practice self-listening as a daily exercise, every time we remember it, wherever we are and whatever we are doing. When we meet a new person, we remain listening to what is moving in us. When we move into space, we listen to what awakens in us in front of each stimulus. When we drive, listen to music, take a shower, talk to someone, we don’t forget to connect in parallel with the self-listening antenna.
- We embrace our true direction. If it were not socially possible to adapt our life (relationships, work, home) to a new feeling that has emerged, let’s do it step by step. But at least we keep the direction in mind: we understand that we have to change something and our feeling is our compass for change. Nothing chosen at the table can ever be as right for us as what this compass is showing us.
It will be trivial, but the saying “follow your heart” is never wrong: I really speak of an instrument of deadly precision and we are all equipped, free of charge, from birth, just … go back to listening to us!