Infinite times it keeps happening, since we were children to today, to waste a lot of energy trying to convince another person of our thinking. Of our system of values, of our beliefs, of our experiences.
It is a waste of time. It is one of the activities that are not only more useless, but also more harmful, since it only fosters separation and attempts to abuse.
It is a practice that takes a lot of energy away from us, diverts our attention like a siren and, to make matters worse, it does not lead us to any result. Never. Without exceptions. And we all do it.
It’s amazing how the mind is made: it really seems that we can waste decades (or millennia) in the same recurring error without being able to find the edge of the skein. If only they taught us at school, how many tons of energy we would have saved, to direct them towards the most important goals for us!
Save yourself from the siren’s call
In fact, to get out of the “call of the siren”, the trick is there. Or there are several.
First of all, we should become aware of our own addiction to the challenge.
Yes, the idea of the other that contradicts us and we who intervene with sword deals trying with maximum speed to cover his words with ours and to refute every point of his – often without any kindness. It’s an addiction. To all effects. It is also toxic.
It is an emotional drug addiction. That distracts us 1) from the present, 2) from those around us, 3) from what we were doing or wanted to do, 4) from focus and projects, 5) from our inner peace and our daily energies.
Don’t allow yourself to fall into this trap. Start loving yourself more and save precious time and energy. Life is worth a lot.
Once aware of this, we will also become aware that stopping reacting is not difficult because the methods are lacking: it is difficult because we ourselves are fond of that adrenaline, of those low vibrations, of that type of anger and ardor. Like a fighting cock. In fact, there is not much difference. And I speak for all of us.
Once aware of this too, let’s see what is the trick to finally get out of the eternal vicious circle.
Well, first of all: let’s not go looking for the clash on our own initiative.
If we can do this, there are only two other possibilities:
that it happens to us under the eyes (or ears) by chance, or that someone else attacks us verbally in a direct way.
Remember well, remember it every day, that intervening and reacting is, in all cases, useless.
This battle cannot be won on its own field. We need to change the pitch. And it has nothing to do with escape. It’s about making a level jump: breaking a spell. To get out of it, of their own will.
If you can do this, the reactions of others and the change of events around you will amaze you a lot. But don’t expect too much. It is a very difficult act, it can be conquered only by degrees. For small steps at a time. And also learning not to care about the times when we fall.
Judging ourselves can only harm us again and disperse other energies. One step at a time is fine, aware that we have now understood, that we are on the right path and that we will never go back.
It is a type of situation that corresponds to a whirlpool or a whirlwind, by its intrinsic nature. It can only lead down. And, if you notice, the more you shout or write and the more you try to convince the other, the more you get anger, resistance, expenditure of energy and your blood pressure increases.
It is not needed and you never win, in any case. It’s a noose.
It is like wanting to embrace a Morgana fairy. You must fully understand the emptiness of this bad habit. And the fact that the first one it harms is always you.
The secrets to reverse the course, to break the spell?
- Realize as soon as possible that you have fallen into that temptation-trap. As soon as you realize it, or rather “remembered”:
- replace, with an act of relentless will, the strong urge to reply with the thought of something that arouses great gratitude. What you have, your loved ones, the food you like, your pet, your home, your room, your body, nature, a love, an activity you love …
Gratitude has immense strength and, if you can concentrate properly, you will really manage to direct your mind elsewhere and break the spell.
I like to call it that to make it clear how powerful and tempting it is. A dangerous magnet.
- Remember that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Never. That it is your right to remain in your sacred space and in everything you believe without saying a word, that no one will ever be able to interfere.
Make these truths very clear. If you want, repeat them out loud.
- Now stop and think of someone you love madly (human or not, alive or not) and imagine filling all your cells with that love. You will see how your priorities change. Breath deeply. Listen to your breathing. Come back to yourself: don’t give up again!
- Finally, try to remember what you wanted to do, or think about something you really like to do and try to organize how to do it as soon as possible. Protect yourself, not in words or gestures: protect yourself upstream, from situations with no way out. Don’t even go into that room.
Be your first priority.
Stop everything. Search for inner silence, recreate it. Leave the field of diatribe and return to the field of your sacred serenity. Don’t allow conflicts to upset you.
- Give thanks and be proud of yourself for every extra step in this direction. The more you practice non-involvement in trap situations, the easier it will be every time. It’s a workout, you need perseverance. But the results are seen very soon. You just have to try …
Good practices at all!