“Let go of people who only share complaints, problems, disastrous stories, fear and judgment of others. If someone is looking for a bin to throw out their garbage, let it not be your mind. “Dalai Lama
Have you ever dealt with negative people?
If the answer is “yes” you will know well that it can be a rather destabilizing experience, one that sucks your energy away and leaves you in a discouraged and unmotivated state of mind.
If we are unable to handle them in the most appropriate way, negative people are able to drag us down into a spiral of inertia and depression.
So what are the most effective tactics to be able to better manage negative people, while trying to help them recover and adopt an optimistic and positive perspective?
Here are 7 practical tips to do it:
1 – Don’t get caught up in negativity
A recurring aspect among negative people is the tendency to dwell on problematic situations and ignore the positive things that happen to them.
Negative people also have a tendency to exaggerate the difficulties they face, making their situations appear much more serious than they actually are.
The first time you find yourself conversing with a negative person, immediately offer your support and your support, make sure that the other knows that he is not alone and that he can count on you.
At the same time, however, try to draw a fairly clear dividing line.
Do not let the problems of the other become an excuse to find both of you pitying and crying on each other.
We don’t like the role of the victim, do we?
Any negative situation can be faced with enthusiasm, when faced with any problem we can choose to adopt a positive, proactive and optimistic attitude.
If in subsequent conversations the other person continues to complain about the same problems without having tried to take any concrete action, point it out and highlight what possible moves he could take to recover.
Bring him towards positivity, don’t let him drag you into the spiral of negativity.
2 – Search for allies
Talking to a negative person can drain a lot of your energy.
In the past, when I happened to converse even for just half an hour with a colleague who kept complaining and emphasizing how unfortunate he was, after the conversation I ended up exhausted and I needed many hours to recover my energy.
To overcome this inconvenience, every time you talk to a negative person try to have a person with whom you feel in tune with you too.
In this way the friend will be able to give you support and motivation, helping you to better manage the negativity.
Another positive aspect is that the negative person, being in a positive and constructive context, can receive the necessary help to overturn their own perspective and assume a more optimistic and luminous vision of reality.
3 – Make criticisms objective
Negative people tend to take an extremely critical attitude, both towards themselves and towards close people.
They have the inclination to make offensive comments, capable of hurting the sensitivity of those who fall victim to their observations.
To avoid falling into the trap of being hurt by comments and criticisms addressed without the slightest tact from negative people, it is essential to learn not to take personally the remarks that are made to you.
When you receive a criticism, try to make it objective and try to understand if there is some truth in what you are told.
If so, you can be grateful that they pointed out your weakness and you can certainly start working to improve yourself.
If the criticism has no basis, then why blame it?
When you receive negative comments, do not think that there is something wrong with you: often the person who criticizes you is just finding a way to vent their negativity, it is not a personal attack aimed at you specifically and intentional.
So do not take these comments personally, simply consider them a different point of view and evaluate if there is any element from which you can draw lessons.
4 – Propose positive themes
Many negative people tend to linger on some topics.
Disappointments of love, difficulties at work, problems in the family, are just some examples of this.
With the consequence that these issues do nothing but fuel the spiral of negativity.
The most effective way out of this vicious circle is to bring new themes into the discussion.
It can be any topic, as long as it is likely to fuel positive thoughts and reflections: mutual friends, hobbies, pleasant news and anniversaries, and so on.
There are many topics that can illuminate a conversation.
5 – Be aware of the time you spend with negative people
As Jim Rohn says – “You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with”.
By this we mean that the people you spend your time with have a decisive impact on the kind of person you will become.
If you feel that some people are having a negative impact on your life, then try to be aware of the time you spend with them.
This will help you to consciously identify which companies are best for you to hang out with, the ones that are able to bring out the best.
6 – Identify areas where you can make positive change
Negative people are generally negative because they lack love, warmth and positive energy.
Very often their negative attitude is just a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the “pitfalls” of the world.
One of the most effective ways to help a negative person is to “introduce” some positivity into their life.
Think about what is troubling or worrying that person right now and try to think about what you can do to help them.
It doesn’t have to be anything particularly complex or elaborate, but it is enough that you are sincere in your desire to support others and help them identify the positive sides of life.
If you look carefully there is always something you can do for others – take a look out there and do your best to help those in need.
You can make a big difference in other people’s lives.
7 – Choose the people to surround yourself with
If all of the above doesn’t work, try to reconsider whether or not it is worth dating some of the people you surround yourself with.
At any time, you have the opportunity to make the conscious choice to temporarily move away from negative people or totally exclude them from your existence.
This does not mean adopting an attitude of superiority or arrogance towards other people.
It simply means recognizing that with some people you are unable to connect and that the benefits you and the parties involved derive from each other are far more limited than the negative effects.
This does not mean that you will never have anything to do with each other again, but that it is simply perhaps more appropriate, at least for a moment, to distance yourself and hang out with people with whom your energy level remains high. and with which you can feel positive and motivated.